Nathan Key

Don't Panic

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Why Condemnation Rarely Works

6/22/2009

 

You're trying to call out a friend's addiction, so you heap on the guilt...

Thick.

The results are less than desirable, in fact, your friend seems to be further addicted than ever before. What's going on? Why doesn't a guilt trip work?

Plain and simple, every one of us are dealing with self-loathing tendencies already- without the aid of our well intended friends. So add an addiction to the mix and you can bet you're dealing with someone who's already going through a lot of guilt, self-hatred, and contempt over their inability to let go.

That said, how on earth would MORE guilt make that situation any better than it already is?

Perhaps that's why God goes with a different plan (one that we'd follow if we were smart)? It's His Kindness that leads us to repentance (Romans 2). He knows that condemnation is worthless, usually pushing us onward toward despair rather than redemption.

That said, when we heap on condemnation- we're working against God. We're anti-Christ.

Just a thought.

jim g
6/22/2009 01:19:04 pm

speaking the truth in love seems to be a tough balancing act, especially when we have a vested interest in the actions and outcomes that we hope the truth might influence. i have no experience at all with interventions of addicted loved ones but i can't imagine a harder thing to do.


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    About Nathan

    Nathan Key likes to think about faith and philosophy and talk about it with others. He lives with his family in New Hampshire. He doesn't always refer to himself in the third person.

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