Men & Women: Equal, but not the same

There's a current mutilation of egalitarianism that's being overlooked by many people today. In some ways, we're unfortunately moving beyond equality to embrace conformity as well. And often, it's male attributes that are now being uprooted or smoothed over. To put it another way- in an attempt to ensure equality among the sexes, an unfortunate side effect has been the emasculation of male traits that are seen to be disruptive, violent, or gross.

Now, I'm not going to argue that men should be rulers over women or that women should "submit" to men. On the contrary, I've come to believe that mutual submission is a critical step toward embracing a fuller, more abundant life and I shutter at the long history of female enslavement and oppression. At the same time, however, it's important to value those attributes that make men masculine even as we esteem femininity and embrace those things that are unique and extraordinary about women.

For instance- Apparently all the little boys in the United States really need to be medicated with Methylphenidate (Ritalin). But perhaps their ADHD isn't really a disorder, but rather the side effect of trying to get them to learn in a classroom setting that's geared toward little girls (yes, I believe that the education system is geared toward girls). They are much better at sitting still in their seats and staying on topic until recess, and their disruptive counterparts are seen as a problem for society.

For instance- Facial hair (which was at one point in time an honor among men) is now seen as wild and improper. A man who shows up to an interview with a beard is much less likely to get a job than the one who comes in clean shaven (smooth, almost feminine). I decided to grow a beard last year and was called Grizzly Adams by a few of my family members. They were teasing- but they didn't really approve of my new look. Needless to say, it's gone now.

There are a number of other examples I could get into, but suffice to say, I believe that we'll miss out on a full experience of life if we don't permit men to be men. We cannot take away the core ruggedness of men without losing something of what it means to be female, too. And although equality is a good thing, a wonderful thing that we should be celebrating and pressing onward- androgyny is not.

We need to push equality as far as it will go- but we must never sacrifice maleness or femaleness in the process.