Nathan Key

Don't Panic

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How To Destroy the Economy in 3 Easy Steps

4/3/2009

 

Step One
Hand out taxpayer money to businesses who have mismanaged their capital interests, rewarding failure and maximizing the impending crash that comes when these companies fail anyway.

Step Two
Place pay restrictions on corporate executives, thereby crippling the potential of businesses who are on the brink of failure to attract top talent that might come up with some great ideas on how to turn things around. If they weren’t about to fail to begin with, this is a great way to speed up the process.

Step Three
Force out business executives who aren’t leading their companies the way you want them to. After all, who better to decide who gets to lead failing companies than a government that has managed to rack up the biggest national debt in the history of the world.

* * *

Now that we know these 3 easy steps, let's all take a moment to give thanks to the Bush Administration and the Obama Administration for getting us through them all in less than a year. The only thing left to do is sit back and wait for Stagflation and Poverty to rid the entire country of the “evils of capitalism.”


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    About Nathan

    Nathan Key likes to think about faith and philosophy and talk about it with others. He lives with his family in New Hampshire. He doesn't always refer to himself in the third person.

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