Nathan Key

Dear Congress,

Please stop giving us money you don't have.

When rich parents throw money in their children's direction, it's their prerogative. If they have money to give and if they want to use it to bail out their children's misfortunes- we applaud them for putting family first and taking care of their own. My own parents and my in-laws have both given a lot to my family. Their generosity is amazing and we are grateful that they have carved out some funds from the surplus of their own wealth and used it to help their children (thanks mom & dad, thanks Rick & Pam).

But Congress, while it might be tempting to believe that you are wealthy parents harboring your children's best interest- but you are not.

Please remember that you are part of the US government, not part of a family. And you don't have any money, either. You may think that you do since every year you get to make a budget, but the truth is, you have spent SO much over the past hundred years that you don't have any left. In fact, you have actually become the biggest debtors the world has ever known. You have negative funds. Trillions of negative funds.

So please don't pretend any longer that you can simply hand out money to the rest of us when things get tough. If you insist on seeing yourself as a family man, then consider yourself a father, drowning in debt, who is trying to take out another loan so that his daughter can go to Prom.

Listen: Screw Prom!

No one really looks back at Prom and thinks- wow, that was the best night of my life! It's hard for your daughter to hear, but she's going to have to give up Prom this year, or go out and get a job and save up some money so she can pay her own way rather than rely on your irresponsibility to get her there.

Anyhow, maybe it would be better for you to take care of your own financial mess instead of trying to take care of everyone else's problems. Once you're back on top, debt free (or at least less debt encumbered), perhaps you can start giving money away out of the kindness of your heart. But as it stands, you're only making things worse. In the short term, there might be a few more trinkets in the pockets of your citizens- but the inflation that's coming when the world realizes that you have destroyed the dollar...

Well, let's just say that I'm not really sure how you're going to fix that mess when you can't even figure out how to fix this one.

Kindest Regards,Nathan Key

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